On our table, discussion turned a bend towards marriage. Among our group of five from the office, there were only two of us who are married. And the other one has already filed for divorce and is working on finalizing said divorce within the year. The casual chat was on the topic of the wedding. What happened during her wedding and so on. Seems to me that she enjoyed her wedding and to a certain extent still enjoyed the company (and friendship) of her husband. There was no trace of acrimony toward the husband. Just as matter of factly, he was not discussed.
At some point I gave the advice that if ever she got married again (which I think is the point of the divorce) she should follow this simple advice: it is always the man's fault, and he should admit that fact early on. Not just admit, mind, but to stand by that logic. It is always the man's fault when something goes wrong. As a married man, I have lived by that rule, and stood by it come hell or high water. The advantage of such a stand? My wife has never nagged me. And why would she? When we both know it's my fault anyway.
The second advice, equally important, is that the wife must understand the husband. Complete understanding, no more and no less. I am blessed that my wife, Lilia, understands me and has gone out of her way to prove it.
I did not however, give the last and most important advice: get mad one at a time. No use losing your head both at the same time. This piece of advice, I must admit, has been broken in my household a few times. In sixteen years of marriage, we've not followed this advice about four or five times.
Related to the above, we have also had disagreements, but always I during any such disagreements, I held her hand or her shoulder.
Sixteen years of marriage, through thick and thin. Fun isn't it.
--andoy
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