Monday, February 28, 2005

LSS on a Monday Morning: Avril Lavigne, "Complicated"

Artist: Avril Lavigne
Song: Complicated


Uh-huh,
Life's like this
Uh-huh, uh-huh
That's the way it is
'Cause life's like this
Uh-huh, uh-huh
That's the way it is

Chill out,
What you yellin' for?
Lay back, it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
You will see

I like you the way you are
When we're, driving in my car
And you're talking to me
One on one
But you become

Somebody else
'Round everyone else
Watchin' your back
Like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool
You look like a fool
To me

Tell me

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this, you
And you fall and you crawl
And you break and you take
What you get and you turn it into
Honesty Promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it

No, no, no

You come over unannounced
Dressed up like you're something else
Where you are and
Where you sat, you see
You're making me
Laugh out
When you strike a pose
Take off all your preppy clothes
You know
You're not fooling anyone
When you become

Somebody else
'Round everyone else
Watchin' your back
Like you can't relax
Tryin' to be cool
You look like a fool
To me

Tell me

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this, you
And you fall and you crawl
And you break and you take
What you get and you turn it into
Honesty Promise me
I'm never gonna find you fake it

No, no, no...

Chill out,
What you yellin' for?
Lay back, it's all been done before
And if you could let it be
You will see

Somebody else
'Round everyone else
You're watchin' your back
Like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool
You look like a fool
To me, to me

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this, you
And you fall and you crawl
And you break and you take
What you get and you turn it into
Honesty Promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it

No, no

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this, you
And you fall and you crawl
And you break and you take
What you get and you turn it into
Honesty Promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it

-=0=-

I have no idea it was Avril Lavigne. I caught the refrain, and it stayed for the rest of the day.

--andoy
28 February 2005

allvoices

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Last Song Syndrome (LSS)

Officemates and I went to have lunch last Thursday and one of them (a female) started talking about “last song syndrome” or, as she called it, LSS. It’s the last song that you heard (in one way or another) and keeps with you through the rest of the day. I understand this concept though I never knew it had a name. For several years now, I’ve been setting the component system at home as (a relatively loud) alarm. At least with this system, I can’t set the alarm to snooze. You have to move out of bed to turn off the set. And just in case, it plays for one hour, giving you ample time to wake up.

[Note: There was a time when I set the component system with Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony and I forgot to tone it down a bit. When the music started, I literally flipped over like a pancake and dropping into bed wide awake. Nowadays, I check the volume before going to bed.]

Several days ago, the song for the day for me, LSS as it were was Kelly Clarkson’s"Since YOu've Been Gone." And last Thursday evening, it was Plumb’s “Stranded.” Crazy songs I understand. When I was in college, the neighboring room always played Christopher Cross’s “Sailing” at the same time of the morning, every day. It could be a good thing, and it could be also bad. Knowing this, I’ve tried to set the tone in the morning, first hour in the office, I try to listen to music I can relate to. Like “Downtown,” for instance, in French.

I've been posting some song lyrics lately. Mainly because these are the songs in my head at the moment, giving me a grip on reality from the mayhem of the office.

-=0=-

"Since You've Been Gone"
Artist: Kelly Clarkson


Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone

You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you've been gone

And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say

But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone

How can I put it? you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone

How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way

But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone

You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again

Since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone

-=0=-

Stranded
Artist: Plumb


You know it only breaks my heart
To see you standing in the dark alone
Waiting there for me to come back
I'm too afraid to show

If it's coming over you
Like it's coming over me
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
That drags me out to the sea
And I wanna be with you
And you wanna be with me
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
And I don't wanna be
Stranded, stranded, stranded, stranded
I can only take so much
These tears are turning me to rust
I know you're waiting there for me to
come back
I'm to afraid to show

I miss you, I need you
Without you, I'm stranded
I love you so come back
I'm not afraid to show

-=0=-

Just for the record, my singing ain't worth diddly. And when I listen to a song on the computer, I try not to move. Literally, I try to freeze. Else, I might raise my hands to the sides and started looking ecstatic. Now that would be something.

--andoy
27 February 2005

allvoices

Yahoo! News - Have Spaceplane Will Travel

Yahoo! News - Have Spaceplane Will Travel

Have Spaceplane Will Travel

Thu Feb 24, 2:29 PM ET

Leonard David
Senior Space Writer
SPACE.com



ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico -- Reusable spaceplanes that propel ticket-holding passengers to the edge of space are slowly becoming reality.

Among several firms literally hammering away at this prospect is Rocketplane Limited, Inc., an Oklahoma corporation. The company is eager to make space travel as safe, convenient, and routine as air transportation, with work ramping up on their Rocketplane XP design.

The spaceliner's first commercial passenger flight is projected to be early 2007.

The plan calls for Rocketplane XP to depart from the Oklahoma Spaceport located in Burns Flat and whisk customers skyward to over 60 miles (100 kilometers) above Earth. At that height, a spectacular view is promised, along with "over the top" weightlessness for up to four minutes. The company also envisions transporting innovative scientific experiments and valuable payloads to sub-orbital space and beyond.

Rocketplane XP and the space tourism business were highlighted here at the Space Technology & Applications International Forum (STAIF), held February 13-17.

Cool ride

"It's going to be a cool ridethe world's largest roller coaster. And you get your astronaut wings too," said Charles Lauer, co-founder of the company and director of business development.

Lauer said the Rocketplane team has spent some $4 million over the last 10 months on the project. Total investment is $30 million to get the first XP built, through flight test, and nudging its way into revenue-generating service, he said.

Rocketplane Limited, Inc. has obtained from the State of Oklahoma a $13 million face value Investment Tax Credit to develop a re-usable sub-orbital tourist business at the Oklahoma Spaceport. Rocketplane's main office and engineering center are based at Will Rogers Airport in Oklahoma City, and quite appropriately located on Amelia Earhart Lane.

In addition to the XP spaceplane, the company is delving into future space vehicle activity that is expected to have a high return on investment, Lauer explained.

Real hardware

"There's real engineering going on," Lauer told the STAIF gathering. "After 10 years of working on this project, now we've got real hardware."

The fuselage of the Rocketplane XP is a modified Lear 25 series using the same General Electric CJ-610 turbojet engines found on the standard business jet configuration. Those powerful engines are used for takeoff and then shut down after rocket engine ignition.

The XP jet engines would be restarted at high altitude after reentry, as the craft makes it way on the approach corridor to the Oklahoma Spaceport. Those jet engines, by the way, are the non-afterburning version of the J-85 engines that Scaled Composites uses on the White Knight carrier craft that totes SpaceShipOne to release altitude.

Lauer said Rocketplane engineers are building a new delta wing that attaches to the Lear jet fuselage - on the same keel plate used to mount the current wing structure. In addition, a new aft fuselage structure is being fabricated to accommodate the rocket engine thrust loads, as is a new vertical tail structure.

Orbital Technologies Corporation of Madison, Wisconsin is providing the main rocket motor that incorporates patented vortex engine technology.

Gas and go for the up and going

Lauer told SPACE.com that the suborbital craft will undergo an extensive series of shakeout test flights next year. "We're going to have a lot of data before we start commercial service."

Runway rollout of the fully operational XP is slated for the middle of 2006. The welcome carpet for paying customers is to be rolled out the following year. The going rate for the up and going passenger is now targeted in the $150,000 to $160,000 range, Lauer explained.

The "gas and go" traffic model for the XP starts at about 200 people a year, Lauer said. "Our capacity is a lot more than that."

Given two XP vehicles, flights would be dedicated primarily to tourism, as well as microgravity research, Lauer added.

Marketing space: lessons learned

Last year, Rocketplane and Incredible Adventures of Sarasota, Florida announced a marketing agreement in which both companies will begin taking reservations for the XP space flights.

Taking adventure to a higher level is what space tourism is all about, said Jane Reifert, President of Incredible Adventures.

"I'm starting my own little campaign to change the phrase space tourism," Reifert told the STAIF audience. "To me a tourist is somebody going to Disney World with a camera and blocking traffic when I'm on the way to worksomebody getting in the way."

Reifert said that those hungry to fly into space are highly educated and highly motivated individuals. They are risk takers, space thrill-seekers, and adventurers, she said, and shouldn't be associated with someone just camera-clicking away.

There are a number of lessons learned that Reifert and her company have already chocked up in the adventure tourism business.

"Marketing space will not be easy. Fun haters are everywhere. Most of them are lawyers, insurance agents and government officials. Anyone marketing space to civilians must be prepared to meet obstacles," Reifert reported.

A suborbital flight is no vacation, Reifert noted. "Adventurers are fulfilling a lifelong dream. They will pay premium price to see their dream come truebut they expect a premium product in return. Be prepared to deliver everything you promise and more," she advised.

allvoices

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Rupert Everett: "I Say A Little Prayer For You"

Another song in the library.

-=0=-

Artist: Rupert Everett
Title: I Say A Little Prayer

The moment I wake up
before I put on my make-up
I say a little prayer for you
while combing my hair now
and wondering what dress to wear now
I say a little prayer for you

[Refrain]

Forever and ever
you'll stay in my heart and I will love you
forever and ever
we never will part how I'll love you
together forever
that's how it must be
to live without you would only be heartbreak for me

I run for the bus still
while riding I think about us still
I say a little prayer for you
at work I just take time
and all through my coffee break time
I say a little prayer for you

[Refrain]

I say a little prayer for you...

[Bridge]

my darling believe me,

for me there is no one but you
please love me too
(answer his prayer)
I'm in love with you
(answer his prayer now baby)
answer my prayer baby
(answer his prayer)
say you'll love me too

I say a little prayer for you...

-=0=-

--andoy
24 February 2005

allvoices

Simon and Garfunkel: "Bridge Over Troubled Waters"

Some of the songs I'm listening to in the office.

-=0=-

Bridge Over Troubled Waters Lyrics
Artist: Simon & Garfunkel

When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all

I'm on your side

When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you

I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

-=0=-

--andoy
24 February 2005

allvoices

Lipstick Lesbians - Why The L Word isn't just eye-candy. By Ariel Levy

Lipstick Lesbians - Why The L Word isn't just eye-candy. By Ariel Levy

Slate Magazine

Lipstick Lesbians
Why The L Word isn't just eye-candy.
By Ariel Levy
Posted Friday, Feb. 18, 2005, at 7:59 AM PT

The L Word: "Hot lesbians" is not an oxymoron
If you were worried that the new season of The L Word (starting on Sun., Feb. 20) would be less explicit than the first—that all those gleaming limbs and bare breasts were just a gimmick to draw in viewers hungry for high-end girl-on-girl action—rest easy: I have seen the future and it's naked. The second season of The L Word is accurately represented by Showtime's publicity campaign, which pictures the cast in a nude tangle. But let's be clear. All that sex isn't there just for fun. For the very first show on television about lesbians to depict lesbian sexuality as hot isn't pornographic; it's corrective.

Despite the keg-party cliché that every man's fantasy is to see two women make out, our more pervasive cultural fantasy about lesbian sexuality is that it is not all that sexual. In this formulation, lesbianism is about emotion, connection, sisterhood, herbal tea. It is about womyn loving womyn for various reasons, some of which are political and others of which are snuggly. And to be honest, this stereotype actually has a basis in history. During the women's liberation movement, there really was such a thing as lesbian separatism—a point at which lesbianism seemed as much like a fringe political party as it did a sexual identity. "Lesbianism is a women's liberation plot," was how the group Radicalesbians put it when they famously commandeered the mike at NOW's Second Congress to Unite Women in 1970. The first installment of The Furies, a publication put out by a lesbian feminist collective of the same name in 1972, proclaimed, "Lesbianism is not a matter of sexual preference, but rather one of political choice which every woman must make if she is to become woman-identified and thereby end male supremacy."

This conception of lesbianism is a bummer. It makes it so that the options are being a heterosexual who has sex for pleasure or being a lesbian who has sex as a form of protest. Which sounds like more fun to you? Obviously, we are in a different lesbian era now. While The L Word is eye candy, a glossy production on which everyone is luminous and constantly having explosive sex, it is also a memo to the nation (including the lesbian nation) that there are other reasons for women to have sex with each other than to dismantle the dominant paradigm. The best reason for a woman to have sex with another woman (or for anyone to have sex with anyone) is because she wants to.

The value and validity of female desire was also the subject of Sex and the City, a similarly shiny show that was at once a fairy tale about dressing up for big dates and an enormously influential piece of pop culture. Sex and the City marked the first time women were allowed to be sexual aggressors and opportunists on television. The L Word builds on this theme, and it uses similar methods to make its case. (Showtime is well aware of this; the original publicity campaign was a series of billboards and print ads of the show's [clothed] cast looking, shall we say, fabulous, above the words "Same Sex, Different City.") Part of the pleasure of watching Sex and the City, if you actually lived in the city, was seeing the restaurants and streets and styles that formed the backdrop of your daily life reflected back at you on television, shimmering with romance. If you were not from New York, Sex and the City asked you to believe that somewhere in Manhattan, life was being lived to the fullest. The L Word is the first, the only, show that is fun to watch if you are a lesbian, because it lets you see the terrain of your social life reflected back at you on television, cool and glamorous for once. It is a deeply pleasurable thing to watch a bunch of lesbians who aren't marginal characters whose maudlin tales of coming out and familial rejection are not really our problem. Instead, on The L Word, lesbians are enviable. Bette, Jennifer Beals' character, is a powerful art-gallery director with a relentlessly stylish wardrobe. Shane, the androgyne hairdresser rumored to be modeled loosely on Sally Hershberger, is a smooth player. They have palm-lined pools in the backyard and endless time to hang out with their friends at the coffee shop (just like Carrie and Co.), and their sex lives do not stop. If you are not a lesbian, The L Word asks you to entertain the possibility that life as a female homosexual is a blast. Who has ever asked that of you before?

Much has been made of how conventionally feminine and improbably gorgeous all the women on The L Word are, and it is true that theirs has been a butchless universe. (Most lesbian enclaves on planet Earth are not.) This was a weird and significant omission, but they are starting to broaden out: In Season 2, the blond cuckold Tina gets a tough-talking, tie-wearing female lawyer, and we see much more of the mortifyingly named drag king, Ivan Aycock, played with brilliant specificity by Kelly Lynch. In terms of the generally disproportionate level of beauty on The L Word, let's remember: This is television. Was it improbable that the four friends portrayed on Sex and the City would all have long legs and perfect complexions? Wasn't it a little weird that every friend on Friends was so attractive? Of course it was. But it never bothered us, because we all accepted a long time ago that actors look better than regular people. Similarly, most of us have subconsciously accepted the idea that lesbians look worse than regular people. (Thus the refrain: "She's a lesbian? But she could get any man she wanted ...") For this reason, the pulchritude on The L Word is jarring instead of predictable.

None of this is to say that the makers of The L Word are motivated by pure altruism. I'm guessing they grasp that hot chicks having hot sex is good for ratings. Creator Ilene Chaiken has gone out of her way to come off as the lesbian Alfred E. Neuman in the press: What? Me political? She recently told the New York Times with grandiose modesty that she "won't take on the mantle of social responsibility." But she has very little choice. Unfortunately, the presentation of gay women as normal, beautiful, sexual, funny, and sometimes, ahem, married, is still political, whether any of us would like it to be or not.

Related in Slate Last year, Meghan O'Rourke asked "What's Anne Carson doing on The L Word?"

Ariel Levy is a contributing editor at New York. Her first book, Female Chauvinist Pigs, is forthcoming in September.
Still from The L Word by James Dittiger/Showtime.

allvoices

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Some Days! Really!

Some days are like today. I don't know what I should be doing. I have no idea what my job today is. The task list for today looks as if it's outdated even before I came in today.

It's ten o'clock in the morning and I need a caffeine fix, I need some sugar and I need a hug and a lot of kisses. Sex would have been nice. But I'm in the office so that's out of the picture.

Got the caffeine from 7-11, with a donut for the sugar. Now I only need the hugs and kisses. Damn! (The sex hopefully I can get some over the coming long weekend. No pun intended.)

--andoy
23 February 2005

allvoices

Monday, February 21, 2005

Thursday, February 17, 2005

In praise of Zinfandel

In praise of Zinfandel

In praise of Zinfandel
By Sam Gugino
Special to MSN

Boutique Cabernet Sauvignons may command stratospheric prices but they are more coveted than enjoyed. Zinfandel, however, is embraced with the kind of enthusiasm afforded no other varietal.

One reason is that Zinfandel is almost exclusively an American wine, as opposed to Cabernets or Pinot Noirs, which are made the world over. Another is that unlike the red wines from Bordeaux or Burgundy, for example, Zinfandel is without pretense. There is no learning curve for Zinfandel and no need to lay it down for years before it becomes drinkable. It is immediately likeable for its juicy berry fruit and its friendly tannins. "Zinfandel is the anti-Cabernet wine. It’s generous and rich and goes great with food. That’s why it’s fun to make. Who wants to make a trophy wine?" says Eric Cinnamon, winemaker at Rancho Zabaco Winery in Healdsburg, Calif.

Last month, thousands of "Zinfanatics" descended upon San Francisco for a four-day Zinfandel festival capped by the 14th annual Zinfandel Tasting. Sponsored by Zinfandel Advocates & Producers or ZAP, a nonprofit trade group based in Rough & Ready, Calif., the tasting featured more than 275 producers, quite an increase from the first ZAP Tasting when only 22 wineries were involved.

Though devotees consider Zinfandel America’s heritage wine, it is not native to this country. The Italian Primitivo grape was long thought to be Zinfandel’s ancestor. But we now know it is the Crljenak Kastelanski from Croatia. That hasn’t stopped the Italians from taking advantage of Zinfandel’s popularity by increasing exports of Primitivo wine (mostly from Puglia) to the United States and even calling some of it Zinfandel.

Planted mostly by Italian immigrants beginning in the mid-19th century, California Zinfandel was, for most of its life, an everyday drinking wine, often as part of jug wine blends. In the 1970s, standalone Zinfandels were "totally cult," according to Jeff McBride, winemaker for Dry Creek Vineyard. "Back then you had high-alcohol zins, Port-like zins, claret-style zins, rosé-style zins. It was too complicated. So they went elsewhere," McBride says.

Ironically, one thing that saved Zinfandel from itself was white Zinfandel, the hugely popular blush wine made from the red Zinfandel grape. Though serious Zinfandel drinkers scoff at this pedestrian quaff, white Zinfandel helped to get rid of a lot of potentially mediocre red Zinfandel. And it also preserved many old and prized Zinfandel vines, which would have been ripped out to plant other grapes.

Better with age?
The quality of today’s Zinfandel is higher than ever, thanks to better site and clonal selections, better vineyard management and improved winemaking techniques. Those different styles of Zinfandel are still with us, but they are more controlled.

Sonoma County is the mecca for California Zinfandel. Within it there are several top regions. One is Dry Creek Valley, which produces ripe and lush wines with soft tannins, a core of black cherry fruit and peppery notes. The Russian River Valley is one of the cooler growing regions, which allows for long hang time for grapes, creating bright fruit flavors leaning toward plums and boysenberries. Sonoma Valley produces rich and spicy but well-structured and long-lived wines.

Mendocino and Lake Counties are cooler areas that produce richly colored wines with distinct raspberry-cherry flavors and surprising depth. Napa Valley Zins can be complex and ageworthy. Paso Robles or Central Coast Zinfandels offer a wide range of styles from lush, ripe and soft to leaner, lighter claret-styled wines. High temperatures in the Sierra Foothills (Amador County) push the envelope of ripeness in grapes creating high alcohol and often raisined or pruney flavors.

Within these regions you’ll see quite a few producers making up to a dozen single-vineyard Zinfandels. In some cases production is only a few hundred cases, which adds to the cult cache. Many of these vineyards have vines that go back to the early 20th century and beyond. Not only are they still producing but they are coveted for the intense flavors they provide. These old vineyards often contain other varieties, particularly Petite Sirah, Alicante and Carignan, which give Zinfandel some of the elements it lacks such as color. These so called "field blends" are common with Zinfandel.

While the 2000 Zinfandel vintage was rated "good" by Wine Spectator magazine, the 2001 and 2002 vintages are stellar.

When it comes to matching up with food, Zinfandel is far more versatile than most folks realize. Much depends on the style of Zinfandel. For example, winemaker McBride suggests that lighter Zins, below 14 percent alcohol, would be best for things like cioppino, roast turkey, pizza and tomato-based sauces. Bigger Zins are more appropriate for heavier dishes like osso buco, roast lamb or beef and game. I’ve even had coq au vin, the famous Burgundian chicken stew, made with Zinfandel¬ at a French restaurant, no less. Take that, Pinot Noir.

Sam Gugino is the Tastes columnist for Wine Spectator magazine and author of "Cooking to Beat the Clock." He can be reached through his Web site, www.samcooks.com.

allvoices

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

All Too Human - And other news from the technological frontier. By William Saletan

All Too Human - And other news from the technological frontier. By William Saletan

All Too Human
And other news from the technological frontier.
By William Saletan
Updated Monday, Feb. 14, 2005, at 6:46 AM PT

Latest Human Nature columns: 1) The pseudo-feminist show trial of Larry Summers. 2) Life arrives on a moon of Saturn. 3) The creature genetic engineers fear most. 4) The creepy solution to the stem-cell debate.

You can't patent a hybrid animal that's substantially human. The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office rejected a patent for a method of making a creature from human and monkey cells. The creature's stated purpose was to test toxins or grow tissue for transplants, but the applicant's real goal was 1) to win the patent and prevent others from making such a creature or 2) to lose and set a precedent against patenting part-human life. Patent office's rationales for saying no include: 1) Patenting such a creature might preclude it from procreating without your permission, thus violating its right to privacy. 2) A patent would prevent others from employing the creature, thus violating the constitutional ban on slavery. Loophole: Since mice with human ingredients are already patented, you just have to keep the human percentage below a certain threshold, which nobody has yet defined.

Only 135 people are frozen in the two full-service U.S. cryonic facilities. The companies freeze your body or head in the hope that future technology can revive you. More than 700 people have signed up to be frozen, but the disclosure that one company has the head of baseball slugger Ted Williams hasn't brought in much business. Spin from a client: I'm afraid it won't work, "but it beats the alternative." Spin from the client's then-living dad, Walter Matthau: I'm more afraid it might work, so no thanks.

Friday, Feb. 11, 2005


The California Supreme Court says IQ is not a sufficient basis to decide who may be executed. Prosecutors suggested anyone with an IQ of 70 or higher was not retarded and therefore could be executed. But the court decided 1) "IQ tests are insufficiently precise to utilize a fixed cutoff" and 2) death-row inmates can get their sentences changed to life in prison if a judge rules that they've probably had "significantly subaverage general intellectual functioning" and other mental disabilities since they were minors. IQ can be a factor, but not the sole factor. Victim advocate's spin: The ruling will create "a lot of work" for prosecutors fighting off appeals. Anti-death penalty spin: A little work never killed anyone. Implication: Our understanding of intelligence is becoming more complex. ... 7:30 a.m. PT

Thursday, Feb. 10, 2005


Emotional stress can fatally weaken your heart. Researchers have documented some cases of stress cardiomyopathy ("broken heart syndrome") and suspect many more. The probable mechanism is adrenaline stunning the heart muscle; the victims are almost all women. Bad news: In extreme cases it can kill you if untreated. Good news: You heal completely if treated. Pop spin: Your heart really can be broken. Highbrow spin: Your mind really can control your body.

Kids whose moms work the late shift lag in cognitive development. Why? Anti-feminist spin: 1) You're too tired to be a good mom when you're home. Classist spin: You have to work the late shift because you're uneducated, which makes you a bad mom. Liberal spin: Your inconvenient hours force you to leave your kids with friends or family instead of in day care, where they'd learn more.

Massachusetts is at war over human research cloning. The state senate president wants to make it easier to do human embryonic stem cell research, including cloning. The governor accepts research on embryos left over from fertility treatments but wants to ban the creation of new embryos for research that requires their destruction. Researchers' spin: The governor is against curing diseases. Governor's spin: "Creation for the purpose of destruction is wrong." Lawmakers' spin: If we ban it in Massachusetts, biotech companies will move to California and other states that are offering public money to do it. Media question: Why do the Associated Press and the New York Times avoid the word "cloning," instead calling it "embryonic stem cell research"?

Californians are trying to stop the biological alteration of pets. One company has sold two cloned cats; another is selling fish genetically modified to glow. California has barred sales of these fish to its residents, and lawmakers are now pushing to ban the sale of cloned pets and the cropping of dogs' ears. Animal rights spin: Cloning is harmful to our furry friends. Cynical spin: So is eating them. ... 1:30 p.m. PT

Wednesday, Feb. 9, 2005


The scientist who cloned Dolly the sheep will clone human embryos. Britain gave Ian Wilmut a license to create the embryos for research. Wilmut's spin: We're going to cure diseases. Don't worry—we won't let the embryos grow beyond 14 days. Anti-cloning spin: That's the problem. American pro-cloning spin: Religious zealots are holding us back in the global biotechnology race.

Italy is paying families to produce children. Last year the government paid couples $1,300 to have a second child. One town, Laviano, is offering almost $14,000 for every child born. The reason: The population is shrinking and aging, causing tax revenue to fall far short of pension obligations. Some people are moving to Laviano to collect the payout. Laviano mayor's spin: It's working! Critics' spins: 1) Great, now European cities can go broke bidding for parents the same way American cities go broke bidding for employers. 2) The chief problem is that the economy doesn't let women or men work and raise families at the same time. Why not fix that instead? Implication: Economics 1, Catholic Church 0.

The smallest preemie ever to survive has improved enough to go home. She weighed 8.6 ounces and was 9.5 inches long at birth. Upbeat spin: It's another miracle. Cautionary spin: It's another warning that we need to stop the increase in premature births, because for every miracle, there are many tragedies. ... 7:50 a.m. PT

Tuesday, Feb. 8, 2005


Severely brain-damaged people may be more aware than we realize. Doctors classify 100,000 to 300,000 brain-damaged people as "minimally conscious." This is better than a "persistent vegetative state"—they can breathe and blink but can't eat, communicate, or get out of bed. We thought they didn't know what was going on around them, but brain scans suggest they do; they just can't tell us. A previous study reportedly indicates up to 30 percent of patients thought to be in persistent vegetative states were actually minimally conscious. Critique: This doesn't mean they can recover. Implications: 1) Should we reconsider pulling the plug on Terry Schiavo? 2) Are these people enduring a living hell?

A Michigan legislator is trying to stop a company from firing workers who smoke at home. The company has begun randomly testing employees for nicotine, with a pledge to fire those who refuse to quit. The legislator says it's "un-American" to let a company punish legal activity outside the workplace. Civil libertarian spin: What's next? No beer at home? (Actually, a company did fire a worker for off-duty drinking 15 years ago.) Company's public spin: Employers have a right to control health costs. Fired worker's reply: I'm not on the company health plan. Company president's off-message spin: "I spent all my life working with young men, honing them mentally and physically to a high performance. And I think that's what we need to do in the workplace."

A former priest was convicted of child rape based on one accuser's recovered memories. The defendant, Paul Shanley, rested his entire defense on a recovered-memory debunker. A psychiatrist previously testified for the prosecution that recovered memories are true. Jurors voted to convict on the theory that the accuser had nothing to gain by pursuing criminal charges because he had already won a $500,000 settlement. Upbeat spin: Recovered memories are vindicated. Cynical spin: Don't offer a civil settlement until the criminal case is resolved.

Criminal psychologists are embracing the concept of evil. Research indicates high scores on a "psychopathy checklist" correlate with recidivism and differences in brain processes. A psychiatrist has organized biographies of criminals into 22 categories of evil; other scientists are evaluating crimes on a "depravity scale." Arguments against evil as a diagnosis: 1) It suggests no treatment. 2) It's vague and subject to bias, which can lead to unjust death sentences. 3) "The causes of [criminal] behavior are biological, psychological and social." Arguments for it: 1) It identifies criminals who defy all treatments and all other explanations. 2) The best you can do with such people is admit they're fundamentally evil so you can keep them off the streets. Implication: Psychology's denial of evil, like religion's affirmation of it, is a debatable moral assumption.

President Bush's space budget favors human travel over research. It funds the space shuttles, the International Space Station, a new vehicle for manned space travel, and preparations for human exploration of Mars, but not saving the Hubble Space Telescope or sending an unmanned probe to Jupiter's moons. Implication: Bush (or America, depending on your viewpoint) would rather act than study. Critique: So what else is new? ... 1:30 p.m. PT

Previous items:

Virginia may execute a killer because he's no longer retarded.

Cops are being investigated for using or selling steroids.

Greenhouse gases could revive Mars.

You can sue for the "wrongful death" of an embryo.

The FDA may approve an electronic implant for depression.

Cops are fingerprinting speeders.

Cell phones make young people drive as badly as old people.

An ex-priest accused of child rape rested his entire defense on a recovered-memory debunker.

The average consumer of a pay-per-view porn movie watches just seven minutes.

Medicare will cover Viagra.

Pro-lifers are using sonograms to dissuade women from abortions.

Adult marrow cells might replace embryonic stem cells.

China is reversing its one-child policy.

Sports doping cops have detected a new "undetectable" steroid.

Birds are smarter than we thought.

Hard liquor and beer are good for old women.

People aren't fully rational until age 25.

Companies are firing or refusing to hire smokers.

A new magazine is devoted to cosmetic surgery.

Congress is moving to restrict cold medicine.

President Bush says gay couples are inferior parents.

Fidgeting fights obesity.

We can turn stem cells into motor neurons.

An antidepressant gave a woman a two-hour orgasm.

William Saletan is Slate's chief political correspondent and author of Bearing Right: How Conservatives Won the Abortion War.

allvoices

Deep Throat Comes Again - A new documentary on the porn sensation. By David Edelstein

Deep Throat Comes Again - A new documentary on the porn sensation. By David Edelstein

Deep Throat Comes Again
A new documentary on the porn sensation.
By David Edelstein
Posted Thursday, Feb. 10, 2005, at 2:05 PM PT

Whoopee, it's a '70s flashback! Deep Throat Week in America! First, we had the opening of the Woodward-Bernstein Watergate archives, along with still more speculation about that most famous of anonymous leakers, embodied by Hal Holbrook in the film of All the President's Men. Now, we have this playful but essentially serious documentary Inside Deep Throat (Universal), a tale of sex, violence, and censorship revolving around the boffo 1972 hard-core porn flick that inspired, among other things, that Watergate moniker.

What an odd project for Brian Grazer and Ron Howard (Opie at the time of the original release) to shepherd to the screen. But I'm not complaining: Deep Throat deserves the scrutiny. For starters, it was the first heterosexual hard-core porn picture to focus on fellatio. Ex-hairdresser Gerard Damiano cooked up the premise when he first saw his future star, Linda Boreman, demonstrate her prowess during a less ambitious shoot in his living room. He said, "Whoa!" He christened her Linda Lovelace (alliteration was big with sex goddesses: think Marilyn Monroe and Brigitte Bardot), and then concocted a story about a woman who gets no sexual pleasure from copulation. A doctor, played by Harry Reems, discovers that her clitoris is in her throat and, being a Good Samaritan, helps her locate it. His climax—he came on her face, and she lapped it up—was the first so-called pornographic "money shot" that many Americans would witness.

In the documentary, directed by Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato, Norman Mailer points out that Americans will sell their souls for a giggle—and Deep Throat was a giggle. But it was also a fount of controversy. Hugh Hefner and Al Goldstein (both seen here) had no qualms about it, but feminists complained that the conceit of a woman who could be sexually satisfied only by servicing a man is at best self-serving and at worst misogynistic and repressive.

But there's another dimension, expressed in the documentary by Linda Williams, a Berkeley professor and the author of Hard Core: Power, Pleasure, and the "Frenzy of the Visible": that Deep Throat was the first time the very idea of a woman's sexual fulfillment was an issue onscreen. That wasn't a minor matter, for either film's adherents or detractors. Bailey and Barbato feature a quote from the New York City prosecutor who successfully sued to close the theater in which Deep Throat was playing: "The movie says it's perfectly normal to have a clitoral orgasm and THAT IS WRONG."

No one—not even Damiano—makes the case that Deep Throat was a good movie. But it was all the rage, and still, reportedly, the most successful film ever in its ratio of cost to box-office grosses. On both coasts, it had even the upper-middle-class and intelligentsia lining up. Interviewees from Camille Paglia to former porn star Georgina Spelvin argue that this was a hopeful sign—that sexual exploration seemed on the verge of penetrating, so to speak, mainstream Hollywood movies for the first time.

Unfortunately for cinema, Deep Throat became a target of moral crusaders and the Nixon administration. It's amusing to see that one of those principals is Charles Keating, later convicted of fraud in the savings and loan scandal. Alan Dershowitz—who would later defend Harry Reems in an unprecedented obscenity trial—maintains that it was the government's obsession that made Deep Throat such a hit. There's even a clip of a little old lady—I wish she'd been my grandma—emerging from the theater and announcing: "I wanted to see a dirty picture and that's what I saw!"

Inside Deep Throat follows two entwined roads: that government crusade and the sad histories of the participants, none of whom saw any money. The mafia co-producers grabbed it all. There's an indelible portrait of an elderly Florida couple—ex-exhibitors—who are still terrified at the thought of the mafia coming after them for blabbing. (She keeps urging her husband to shut the fuck up, but she's a great old gal nevertheless.)

The pair was certainly luckier than the movie's stars. During his trial, Reems became a cause celèbre among Hollywood lefties like Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson, but ended up panhandling on Hollywood Boulevard—although you'll be relieved to know he's now a born-again realtor in Park City, Utah. The story of Linda Lovelace remains the most notorious and disturbing. She would join anti-porn feminists and claim, in an autobiography and in testimony before the Meese Commission on the alleged link between violence and pornography, that she'd been forced into performing by her abusive ex-husband. What I didn't know was that at the end of her life, before she was killed in a car accident in 2002, she needed money and went back to posing in porn magazines.

Inside Deep Throat isn't as campy or as unhinged as the delightful Bailey and Barbato Tammy Faye Baker documentary, The Eyes of Tammy Faye; it's more like your standard HBO documentary (and HBO co-produced). But it's extremely entertaining, with a feast of good faces: Mailer, Gore Vidal, the director Ron Wertheim (who looks like an old Catskill comic), Lovelace's cat* "Adolph Hitler" (named for what really looks like an ugly Hitler mustache), and the salty Deep Throat location manager (who looks like Brando's Don Corleone shortly before he drops dead). The accounts of the Florida shoot are hilarious, and for those with NC-17 hankerings, the documentary even features the fabled money shot.

The movie made me as nostalgic as some of its subjects. I never was much into porn (for some reason I always preferred Italian cannibal movies and lesbian vampire erotica), but I did see Deep Throat, on a late-'70s double bill with Damiano's The Devil in Miss Jones. The theater was creepy and depressing—as were, I gather, many grindhouses on the old Deuce. But the idea of a public culture for adults only remains appealing.

That dream was snuffed out, of course, by people like the Nixon crony (and homophobic closeted gay man) Roy Cohn, who actually debated Reems on camera. In the documentary, Cohn is heard to say to Reems, "You talk as though the Bill of Rights was created just for you." Well, um, yeah, it was. Which had something to do with that other Deep Throat, no?

Correction, Feb. 14, 2005: My thanks to Jennifer Kane for pointing out that "Adolph Hitler" was not the name of Linda Lovelace's dog but her cat. Obviously, for a Jew, this was the ultimate Freudian slip, based on the inability to connect Hitler to Linda Lovelace's pussy. (Return to corrected sentence.)

Related in SlateSadly, Slate has paid scant attention to Linda Lovelace. Click here to read David Edelstein's review of the pornographer biopic The People vs. Larry Flynt, and here to read Scott Shuger's account of his date with a prostitute. Slate's chief Deep Throat sleuth (Nixon version) is Timothy Noah, who has been filing dispatches for years. Here's the latest installment. David Greenberg wrote about the unveiling of Woodstein papers in Austin.

David Edelstein is Slate's film critic. You can e-mail him at slatemovies@slate.com.

allvoices

Ladies First - The utopian fantasy of Deep Throat. By Laura Kipnis

Ladies First - The utopian fantasy of Deep Throat. By Laura Kipnis

Ladies First
The utopian fantasy of Deep Throat.
By Laura Kipnis
Posted Friday, Feb. 11, 2005, at 1:16 PM PT

Let's face it: Nature has not been entirely kind to women. Among its many little jokes at women's expense: the entire painful, immobilizing burden of childbearing; deficient upper-body strength; PMS. And let's not forget the unkindest joke of all, the placement of the clitoris—the primary locale of female sexual pleasure—at some remove from the vagina, the primary locale of human sexual intercourse. While not an insurmountable obstacle, some percentage of the male population still has yet to fathom these anatomical complexities. Why wasn't everything just combined into one efficient package, as with the lucky male? Alas, we'll never know, but uncertain access to sexual pleasure is the female fate. (No, no … not there … yes, there.)

Enter Deep Throat, the goofy 1972 porn classic devoted to the problematics of the female clitoris. And, now from producer Brian Grazer, we have Inside Deep Throat, a documentary on the making of what turns out to be—believe it or not—the most profitable movie in film history. Cultural luminaries from Norman Mailer to Erica Jong are trotted out to explain the film's social significance; a pantheon of geriatrics and geezers recount their porno glory days shooting the film, none of which actually begins to explain the enduring success of this amateurishly made, frequently silly (bubbling noises on the soundtrack accompany most orgasms), occasionally weird (complicated sex acts involving Coca-Cola sipped through long plastic tubes), 62-minute sexual relic.

Thanks go, no doubt, to the nationwide obscenity prosecutions accompanying Deep Throat's release: Being banned in 23 states transformed it instantly into a must-see for anyone with liberal pretensions or sexual curiosity. The first sex film with any sort of sustained narrative, Deep Throat was also the first porn film seen by substantial numbers of women, perhaps because the narrative was actually all about the dilemmas of female sexual pleasure and one woman's quest to achieve it despite anatomical hindrances. The joke of the film is that the clitoris of its hapless protagonist, porn star Linda Lovelace (playing herself), isn't just the usual frustrating-enough distance from her vagina, in her case it's even further away. In fact, it's finally located by a helpful physician (Harry Reems) in her … throat.

Sure, it's easy enough to dismiss the misplaced clitoris gag as a setup for extended fellatio scenes (or women "sexually servicing men," as anti-porn rhetoric likes to put it). But what about the protracted opening scene of Linda's female roommate perched on the kitchen table, herself receiving oral pleasure from the grocery delivery boy? (Though for reasons known only to hairdresser-turned-director Gerard Damiano, she's also smoking a cigarette and looking deeply bored.) This is a porn film that actually does put women's sexual pleasure on par with men's: When Linda has her first orgasm—thanks to Harry Reems' medical ministrations—rockets and fireworks go off, church bells peal; the world is a far happier place. Further scenes of men orally attending to women follow: No one here is under the impression that sexual intercourse alone is going to get a girl's bells ringing.

There's something good-natured about all of this, even, in its fashion, vaguely utopian. Pornography's numerous critics tend to take the genre very literally, as if porn aspired to be social realism. But a better comparison is science fiction, another genre that takes a "what if" approach to bodies and societies. Like sci-fi, porn replaces existing realities with wild alternative universes (against which to measure the lackluster, repressive world we've inherited). At its most inventive, pornography too has an allegorical distance from the real, as with the deeply absurdist Deep Throat—an utterly invented erotic world in which male and female bodies and desires correspond with one another far better than they do back here on terra firma.

The premise may be dopey, but the fantasy of male-female instant sexual synchrony is sort of a poignant one: It imagines a universe where men and women get pleasure from all the same things. And what an interesting prospect to contemplate: If sexual pleasure were as sure a thing for women as for men, what vast social and personal transformations would follow? If women did have orgasms while performing oral sex, not only would the longstanding war between the sexes instantly terminate, no doubt so too would women's tiresome role as sexual gatekeepers. After all, remaking bodies and organs is also a fantasy about reorganizing the contours of gender. But note that Deep Throat's bodily rehab fantasies cut both ways: Toward the end of the film, Linda acquires a new boyfriend only to discover that, sadly, he's not well-endowed enough to satisfy her; he simply makes a phone call to a medical specialist and returns to her a bigger man: sexual utopia for all! (No wonder the massive box office grosses.)

Pornography's capacity to reimagine the world and the quotient of sexual gratification it contains is obviously what most irks its critics, and what its fans can't get enough of. The usual impediments to acquiring sex don't exist in pornutopia: Forget social convention, sexual repression, your partner's personality foibles. Porn is a world where personality simply doesn't matter: what a refreshing vacation from the daily reality of coupledom in which one partner's personality tics and the other's inability to deal with them is surely the leading cause of couple dissolution, not to mention the sexual anesthesia (or antipathy) that generally precedes it.

Inside Deep Throat tries hard to account for what made this film unique, but it doesn't get very far: For all its efforts, it's still rather confused about its subject (as well as about the pronunciation of the word "clitoris"). It wants to resurrect an aura of subversive chic about the porn enterprise while also mainstreaming it and making it wholesome. It decries censorship and sexual repression in the usual liberal fashion, forgetting that pornography could hardly exist without them. It also steps awkwardly around Linda Lovelace's allegations in her 1980 memoir Ordeal that she made the film under emotional and physical threat, forced at gunpoint by her then boyfriend-manager to participate. (Disputed by all the film's other participants, needless to say.)

But Ordeal itself is fairly confused, concluding with this piece of wisdom about Lovelace's experience of being forcibly transformed into a porn star: "I never thought something like that could happen to me, but now I know better. It could happen to me, and it could happen to you." This is pure melodrama, of course. But then so are all discussions about the social evils of pornography: Innocence is corrupted, people's wills are overtaken, everyone is at risk. Women tend to tell this story more than men do, which is sort of Deep Throat's subtext. Like it or not, anatomy is destiny in many respects: Disparities in sexual pleasure are the deep structure of gender. No one's saying that women can't or don't enjoy sex (don't get huffy, ladies!), but the fact is that, for the most part, men have the luxury of enjoying it in a far more guaranteed way. Pornography may play with this theme, but it didn't invent the condition.

There are obvious reasons to want to watch other people having sex, but beyond that, genres that are most popular tend to offer magical resolutions to irreconcilable social problems and tensions. Deep Throat tells a labyrinthic story about sexual pleasure—a labyrinth that is the female inheritance—then magically fixes it. In its coded, sometimes ludicrous, frequently offensive way, pornography does tell certain unpalatable truths, then offers an antidote to them—one that millions can't seem to live without these days.

Is this a terrible thing? According to anti-porn forces, yes. But if reality can't compete with porn, isn't it reality that should be doing the apologizing?

Laura Kipnis is a professor of media studies at Northwestern. Her last book was Against Love: A Polemic. Her previous book was Bound and Gagged: Pornography and the Politics of Fantasy in America.

allvoices

The Sexiest Man in the Morgue - William L. Petersen, the dumpy heartthrob of CSI. By Dana Stevens

The Sexiest Man in the Morgue - William L. Petersen, the dumpy heartthrob of CSI. By Dana Stevens

The Sexiest Man in the Morgue
William L. Petersen, the dumpy heartthrob of CSI.
By Dana Stevens
Updated Friday, Feb. 11, 2005, at 11:36 AM PT

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation is one of the most watched shows on television. Is it also the most fantasized about? Like a forensic investigation exhuming a body, a simple Web search unearths a seething niche subculture of CSI: "fanfic," the often sexually explicit fiction written by fans that imagines TV characters living their lives in the interstitial moments between shows. Some of the literature spawned by CSI is "slash," or gay-themed, some is straight, but an inordinate amount of it focuses on the off-screen cavortings of Gil Grissom, the lead investigator played by William Petersen. For those of you who haven't watched the show, Gil is hardly the most obvious object of erotic longing; he's a gray-haired, slightly dumpy, middle-aged workaholic who probably smells faintly of formaldehyde, and whose social skills are inversely proportional to his forensic acumen. Whence the mystique? Why are so many people in love with Gil Grissom?

Grissom's closest analogue in TV history may be Star Trek's Mr. Spock (who was also a great object of slashfic desire; in fact, it was female Trekkies' fevered imaginings of a homoerotic Kirk/Spock pairing that gave rise to the genre in the late-1960s). Like Spock, Grissom seems only half-human; he has implicit faith in science and a disdain for the imprecision of human emotion. Grissom's character also owes something to the film noir lineage of hardboiled cops who have seen it all. Yet, though he begins each episode with a ghoulish wisecrack over that week's freshly discovered corpse, Grissom is no cynical detective in the Sam Spade mode. He's a much odder bird than that: a science geek with a Ph.D. in entomology (when he finally does take a brief vacation, he spends it racing his pet roaches at an entomological convention) who handles the dead bodies he examines with a strangely solicitous gentleness. In one episode, before washing a body on the autopsy table, he first tests the temperature of the water on his hand. It's clear that Gil prefers the company of the dead to that of the living. He's a materialist in the strict sense; he regards the world as a knowable confluence of physical laws, and dead people make sense to him. Unlike the living, they are incapable of lying.

Gil's brainpower is not limited to the skills that make him so good at his job; he also seems to dispose of an endless stash of esoterica, quoting Proust, Shakespeare, Twain, and Poe at will, casually observing that "raccoons have opposable thumbs," or alluding wearily to his theory that "organized sports are the paradigmatic model of a just society." You'd think that, if you had to work with this guy, you'd apply for a transfer within weeks, but Gil's colleagues regard him with an esteem just short of awe, even as they roll their eyes at his Grissomian excesses. When Gil diagnoses one suspect as "a high-functioning autistic man with superior right-brain abilities," his co-worker Nick (George Eads) retorts affectionately, "Kind of sounds like you."

All this goes some way toward explaining why Grissom is such a compelling TV character, an enigma worth returning to week after week. But how does that make him sexy? To fully understand the richness and complexity of Grissom, let's return to the Mr. Spock model for a second. I interviewed a hardcore CSI fan and fanfic writer, who prefers to remain anonymous (her stories are not among those linked to in this piece). "Grissom is way sexier than Mr. Spock," she declared peremptorily. Pressed to explain why, she hemmed and hawed with the usual lover's tautologies ("I can't explain, he just is") before arriving at the following formulation: Where Spock's sexuality was simply repressed (his Vulcan half acting as superego on his all-too-human id), Gil's (implied) erotic life, on the contrary, is so radical as to extend to all life forms, from maggots all the way up to supermodels.

My interviewee (let's call her Lori) cited several episodes in which we witness Gil's remarkable tolerance, even fascination, for alternate lifestyles (and when you're investigating crimes of passion in Las Vegas, things can get pretty alternative). Bondage and domination is all in a day's work for Gil; investigating the props at a local dominatrix house, he tells the formidable madam, Lady Heather (Melinda Clarke), "I find all deviant behavior fascinating, in that to understand human nature we have to understand our aberrations." (When Lady Heather asks about his own "outlets," he cites books, bugs, and roller coasters.) In one unforgettable episode last season, the CSI gang investigated the Las Vegas "furry" scene, with adults in plush animal suits engaging in mass orgies at PAFCon, the "Plushies and Furries Convention." As the other CSIs (who include a jaded ex-stripper) recoiled from this new-to-them perversion, Gil observed placidly that "the only unnatural sexual behavior is none at all." Grissom seeks out, indeed craves, the marginal, despised, or ridiculed elements in society: Nothing human is alien to him. The qualities that make Gil a great forensic investigator—patience, attention to detail, the refusal to make moral judgments about physical facts—can be naturally extrapolated into the qualities of a great lover. (I sort of came up with this theory on my own, but Lori ratified it immediately.)

William Petersen has made a career out of playing characters with a Grissom-like attunement to the dark side of human nature. In Michael Mann's Manhunter, he played a profiler of serial killers who enters so deeply into the brain of Hannibal Lecter that he's briefly interned in a mental asylum. Petersen's black-humor off-set—in an interview with Playboy, he cited CBS chairman Les Moonves and CSI producer Jerry Bruckheimer as two of the people he'd most like to see on the show's autopsy slab—only adds to the bad-boy charm. But much as I love Petersen's work in Manhunter or the underrated cop drama To Live and Die in L.A., the quietly perverse Gil Grissom may be the role of his career.

Television is probably the entertainment medium most suited to erotic daydreaming—after all, unlike the characters in movies, the regulars on TV series visit us in our homes, often our beds, one night each week, leaving us with just enough information to embroider an imaginary life for them during the week we spend apart. Gil Grissom's appeal as a source for viewer fantasy is that he manages to give the impression that, in between episodes, he could be up for pretty much anything.

******

Send your hate mail, indignant protestations, and attractive pictures of William Petersen to surfergirl@thehighsign.net.

Dana Stevens (aka Liz Penn) writes on television for Slate and on film and culture for the High Sign.
Still from CSI by Ron P. Jaffe/CBS © 2004 CBS Broadcasting Inc.

allvoices

Sunday, February 13, 2005

From out of the blue...

A long time friend sent me a text message yesterday. Funny thing was that I was not really expecting it and I was not in any mood to be playing games yesterday. It was a Saturday and I decided to spend the day doing nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Weird thing is that I did find myself almost crying in the morning as I was reading something. A novel, actually, I was just reading through it to finish it, and there were some points when I found myself teary-eyed. I was emotionally low last week. Maybe that was what it was. There was a lot of crying last week, and I tried hard not be part of the crying. I tried to be stone-faced and stoic about it. Finally it got to me, I think.

Later in the afternoon, I got the text message. It was cryptic and trying to be playful. Sounded to me like the texter was a joker. Didn't give any introductions. I had to ask who it was, and I got a name of a long time friend. She said she was with another close friend, and who gave her my number. I believed she was who she said she was. Not a problem with that, although at that point in time, I didn't really like to talk to her. We had a history together, and although that was twenty years ago, and I've gotten past that, I was not in the mood to talk to her.

As I've told another friend before, there are only so few persons who still haunt my sleep, kick me out of slumber and make me jump out of bed. My texter friend is one of them. I've seen her and talked to her twice before since we left UPLB, so it was okay. Unfortunately, I was not in the mood to talk to her yesterday. Tough. I did apologize for being an asshole in answering her text messages.

Maybe it would still take some time before I can get over some nightmares.

--andoy
13 Fevruary 2005

allvoices

That Was The Week That Was

Week before last, my wife had the flu. Although her symptoms did not really develop into a "full-fledged" flu, as her body temperature was on a roller-coaster ride, going up and feverish during the evening, and then becoming normal afterwards. I had been asking her to go to the doctor since day one, however, as she usually does, she didn't want to go for a check-up. Knowing her, once she really could not take it any longer she'd be the one who be asking me to take her to the doctor.

Saturday last week, while I was doing some overtime work at the office, my wife called and I had to rush home so that we can get to the doctor before the clinic closes. After an initial exam, she had a chest x-ray, and further examination of the results. Turns out that besides the sore throat, fever, phlegm, and elevated blood pressure, she also had an enlarged heart. The doctor gave a prescription for fever, phlegm, coughing, antibiotics, hypertension, and some heart medication. After a follow-up check-up last Tuesday, she was also given a new prescription for other medications. Hopefully, by the time of the third checkup in two weeks, we'll see an improvement regarding her enlarged heart.

All in all not a good week.

The project consultant we had was not able to submit a framework/architecture for some modules. I need to be following that up with him.

A server we were trying to configure last Friday did not want to cooperate. First we needed to find a second hard disk. The hard disk we were supposed to use was a SATA disk. Turned out we did not have any SATA cables. We cannibalized a PC from the other office for a temporary hard disk. To download the files, I needed to have this connected as a slave drive in another computer. That being done, turns out that the machine I needed to use this for had a problem with the motherboard. Back to square one, we went to another machine, and this time, the installation disk for Linux was not working. After lunch we tried to download a copy of Linux installation, after 2 hours, we were able to download the first disk (E1 connection). Copying this to a CD, the first time had some errors on the CD. Tried another copy, and this time, the installation still gave an error message. Gave up after that, and will try again on Monday.

The mini-project I was involved in also almost did not meet the requirements. We did get a reprieve. Something like a basketball game on extra time. We do get to have it uploaded to the production server and running three clients by next week.

I was supposed to go to the GA of Pinoy Poets. But I left the office past 7:00pm and I rode with an officemate. However, due to the Makati traffic another officemate instead sent us a text message inviting us to have some pizza and a drink just so we can wait out the heavy traffic. We left Makati past 9:00pm and by that time, I was just tired and wanted to go home.

That was last week. The good news is that it's over. I slept off the whole Saturday.

The bad news is that the project really starts on Monday. And I am abandoning my email provider, meaning I'd be using a different email address.

Live moves.

--andoy
11 February 2005

allvoices

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Share: "Nameless Kisses" by Jardine

Nameless Kisses

Jardine

Oh nameless kisses!
By the time they are noticed
they have gone away.

-=0=-

Jardine is one of the new members of Pinoy Poets.

--andoy
10 February 2005

allvoices

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

"Five Seconds After Breakup" by Earlczar (Pinoypoets)

Five Seconds After Breakup


Eralczar


Silence,...
Its deafening, ...
I can hear every dew
Dropping from the blades
Of the grasses,
Or the songs of the
Crickets singing their
Last farewell to the world.
I can hear the whisper
Of the earth's womb,
Giving birth to
Yet another heartache.
Or the mumbling of my
Hungry stomach,
Buried, along with the
Noise of silence
Reverberating across the room.
But,
I never heard your lips
Forming the word "goodbye",
Instead,
I heard two pieces of wood
Crash into each other,
Like gunpowder and heat.
Then,
The sound of your heels,
And the sound of a heart, crying.
Mine.


-=0=-


Above poem was posted on the Pinoy Poets Yahoo Groups. Okay, it's February, and I sent a whole lot of love poems shared from the Pinoy Poets Yahoo Groups, however, the whole picture is incomplete unless you add poems about breakups. And there are not too many of them. this one, however, is quite descriptive and captures the emptiness of a breakup. It is not common knowledge, that when a breakup happens, both parties hurt.


--andoy
8 February 2005


allvoices

Monday, February 07, 2005

Winning Battles, Losing Wars

I have always afforded myself the luxury of losing arguments. I can argue a point to death. I can argue both sides of argument. If I wanted to argue, nobody needs to coax me into it. I can do it myself. Crazy, no? Which is why I try not to argue. Because I can see the other's viewpoint. I not only respect the other viewpoint, but I empathize with it. Which is also the reason why I try very hard to shut up, if I can see an argument coming. The only reason I see where I do not shut up, is if I were expected to argue. Or to make a stand. At the end of the day, what was the point of the argument in the first place? Who wins? Who loses? Winning arguments has nothing to do with logic. Winning arguments has everything to do with passion and the will to win. At whatever cost. I told myself early on that there are arguments you can win, and arguments that you will lose, and there are arguments which are worth winning or losing. Leading me to the conclusion, that it is better not to argue, nor to debate but to discuss things like sensible people. After discussion, you part as friends who have shared something. Maybe, in the end, the discussion leads to a common direction.

I have also never indulged myself in telling friends that they made a mistake. If at all, I have made it a point that if there is anyone who should be blamed, it would be me. I would rather own up to the blame, rather than lose a friend. Is that so bad?

Losing a friend hurts me a lot. In my book, that is a personal failure. And there are days when I forget. Now that hurts.

--andoy
7 February 2005



allvoices

Weekends at Work

I did not have a good weekend. I was at work Saturday and Sunday. I was not myself, I got suckered into a weekend, which I would normally have wanted to spend at home.

A project got started last Friday. We were already in the beginning (ramp up phase) of a project which supposedly is doable in three months. And then the owner of the company had a business opportunity and asked the normal question: can you do this in a week. And I gave the standard answer: Yes. The whole day was spent in meetings, one after the other (I met the two programmers in the fire escape, I talked with one of the senior programmers in the Men's Room which had only one toilet bowl and a sink, talked things over lunch with the team, and two other meetings in the afternoon) just to thresh out what to do. At the end of the day, it was decided that we'd be having a different team composition, a small three man team different from the team which we began with in the morning, a commitment to finish the job within one week, and to work on it during the weekend. From an almost impossible position in the morning, it looked almost possible by the time we closed out the day.

And then the weekend happened. It was fairly straight forward with the work. The job was compartmentalized so that the different components could be done without any interference from the others until it came time to integrate. Just a race against time, actually. Just that we needed to be working during the weekend.

I also got myself into a disagreement with a friend of mine. Stupid me, it was my fault. The logic was faultless, impecable even. But sometimes logic does not have place in a discussion. The aim of a discussion is to have fun, and to give points to everyone around. The object of a debate is to prove somebody right and somebody wrong. I made a mistake and a discussion became a debate. And I lost my head and did something which one does not do in a discussion between friends: I gave a perfectly logical statement and a solution. I lost the discussion, because all hell broke loose. I made my friend very mad.

It was a "going nowhere" discussion where we were having fun discussing nothing in particular. The topic itself was something we've beaten to death before. And then something was said, and I said the opposite, just to bait and prod the discussion further where I knew it would get touchy. And something was said, and my pride was hurt. Did it really matter that we were having fun discussing things, and then I said something perfectly true but really stupid. My pride was hurt, because I knew something to be true, but nonetheless it was not openly admitted nor stated. That was it.

I have tried very hard all these years not to argue. I may be argumentative, but I pick my arguments and with whom I have them with. I only argue with people who will take on the argument in a logical manner. And I try very hard to make sure that it is a win-win situation, where everyone is given credit all around. This time however, I blew my cool. I said something which we both knew but calmly tiptoed around and never discussed. And I had to walk out afterwards. I made a mistake. A very tactless mistake. And yet, I had the temerity to walk out. What balls! Damn, damn stupid. Bad move, Andoy, bad move.

I think I lost my friend. I don't know. Maybe one day, we can talk again, in a very civil manner at first. Very cold reception, most probably. If at all, that is.

I've apologized and given my take on the matter. But the friendship may have been shattered. It is not very often that I've had this happen to me. And not in the last ten years.

If I want to retain this friendship, I will need to work on it. But for now, I cannot talk to my friend. I am swamped by other more important matters. Family, for one. And time for myself to think alone and reflect on friendships.

--andoy
7 February 2005

allvoices

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Mood Music

Orinoco Flow

Enya


Let me sail, let me sail, let the orinoco flow,
Let me reach, let me beach on the shores of tripoli.
Let me sail, let me sail, let me crash upon your shore,
Let me reach, let me beach far beyond the yellow sea.

From bissau to palau - in the shade of avalon,
From fiji to tiree and the isles of ebony,
From peru to cebu hear the power of babylon,
From bali to cali - far beneath the coral sea.

From the north to the south, ebudae into khartoum,
From the deep sea of clouds to the island of the moon,
Carry me on the waves to the lands I’ve never been,
Carry me on the waves to the lands I’ve never seen.

We can sail, we can sail...
We can steer, we can near with rob dickins at the wheel,
We can sigh, say goodbye ross and his dependencies
We can sail, we can sail...

-=0=-

Was listening to this in the office. Ambivalent mood, writing mood music. I have Enya on the headphones.

Another song I miss and like as a mood music (ambivalent, early morning, writing) is Christopher Cross's "Sailing."

-=0=-

Sailing

Christopher Cross


It's not far down to paradise
At least it's not for me
And if the wind is right you can sail away
And find tranquility
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me

It's not far to never never land
No reason to pretend
And if the wind is right you can find the joy
Of innocence again
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me

Sailing
Takes me away
To where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
And soon I will be free

Fantasy
It gets the best of me
When I'm sailing
All caught up in the reverie
Every word is a symphony
Won't you believe me

It's not far back to sanity
At least it's not for me
And when the wind is right you can sail away
And find serenity
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me


===

--andoy
6 February 2005


allvoices

Love Songs

These past two weeks, I have been sending emails of love songs. Nothing special about them. These were mostly shared poems via the PinoyPoets groups. I just forwarded them to some people. There were, however, isolated comments from some of my friends that they were fed up with love poems. There was even a comment that it was a form of "sugar-high" complete with palpitations and hypertension. I would like to apologize if that were the case. That was not the intention.

To me love is shared. The sharing is important. If love is not shared, then it is selfish. And love is not selfish. Sharing means that you show that you love a person. That you care. And care very deeply. You love a person so deeply that when that person calls, you go and meet him or her. You do stupid requests, like inquiries on string-quartets, working over-time for loved ones, 3-hour talks over coffee, going out of the way to meet at a tower, watching a soppy movie... that sort of thing. You share of yourself, your life, your experiences, your thoughts, fears and dreams.

Love is something you immerse yourself in. You wallow in it and feel it's warmth. And the warmer you get, the warmer the other person gets. It is not enough to watch, you have to be actively aware that you are loving this person. Love is LIFE; and life is LOVE.

It goes without saying that when you express that love, when you hug someone, or you kiss someone -- on the cheek, lips, forehead, or hand -- there must be the emotion to it. Without that underlying emotion, these are just isolated acts. Why would you do something stupid like that without the (proper, correct, right) motivation? A dance, if it is something which the dancers are doing without the feeling of dancing, it is empty. Same with love. Same with sex. Same with kissing and hugging. If there is nothing there, then you would not feel the warmth of the person; a cold reception.

Some people nowadays, say that one no longer have a love life, only a sex life. I disagree. If you only have a sex life, then you are empty. You want warmth, but do not want to invest of yourself by giving warmth in return.

Others say that "love" is different from "falling in love." Or that "loving" is different from being "in love." I disagree with both viewpoints. If you are "falling in love," then you already love the person in the first place. There may be movement in degrees, but you love nonetheless. The feeling is one of being "in love" but the giving or sharing is the "loving."

I am not an expert on love. I am not a teenager any more. I have no connections now with younger generation's definitions and standards. In fact, if any young adults were to ask me, they'd get weird with my answers. But the answers are based on my experience. I have friends who have had serial partners. I have friends who have remained single, by choice. I have friends who have remained married through all these years, without any fallouts. And of course, there are friends who have found that returning to their spouses, after a transgression is a better kind of love, maybe a truer love than when they got married years ago. that is not to say that I studied them. Only that they exist, and they shared their experiences with me.

I am alive, and I will love. I may be falling in love. I may be in love. I love. And I am loving. I can only share. And what I share may never be enough, but it will always be more than what people and friends expect from me. My friend, I love you more than you ever will know.

--andoy
6 February 2005

allvoices

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Training Video

It's the second day of training and I'm the designated videographer. The company rented video equipment which included a Sony DCR VX2000 and a Panasonic DVD-Recorder. The camera is connected via a firewire cable to the DVD-Recorder to record directly to a DVD-R disk. A TV is also connected to the DVD-Recorder serving as a monitor.

The training itself is very interesting and was setup to as a technology transfer session for the java programmers. I am attending as a support personnel to the java programmers and hence was also given the secondary task of video equipment operator. Easy enough to do. Start the recording process on the camera, start recording process on the DVD-burner, check the time remaining for the mini-DV tape (set at LP mode 90 minutes). Ten minutes before time runs out, inform the trainor that it's almost time to take a break. During the break, replace tape with a new one, burn and finalize the DVD and replace disk. And start the next session with new tape and new disk.

Regarding the general details, I understand it quite well. However, since the sessions were for the java programmers, some java and programming specific items are out of my depth. Still, it is fun.

--andoy
2 February 2005


allvoices

Yahoo! News - Japan's manga comics take on US superheroes

Yahoo! News - Japan's manga comics take on US superheroes

WASHINGTON (AFP) - The Incredible Hulk and Spider-Man are confronting new rivals in the US comic book world, as young Americans are devouring Japan's "manga" comics depicting wandering samurais and cheeky Tokyo schoolchildren.

Photo
AFP Photo

Linda Pfeiffer, 15, never got hooked on her brother's comic books, which glorify muscular heroes complete with superpowers. Instead, she is absorbed by Japanese comic book characters to whom she can relate, "even if they live far away from here."

Unlike US comics, "mangas don't always have a happy ending," Pfeiffer added as she scoured a Washington area comic book store.

Thanks to enthused American teenagers such as Pfeiffer, "manga is one of the fastest growing segment of the (American) publishing industry," said Milton Griepp, founder of ICv2, a research organization on the animation industry.

Manga, literally "random sketches" is the term for the genre of narrative comic strips, often series, read by millions of Japanese. Thousands of new titles on themes ranging from samurai, golf, yakuza gangsters, fantasy superheroes, sex and social satire are published each year.

In the United States, sales soared to between 110 million and 140 million dollars in 2004 from 60 million dollars in 2002, Griepp said.

Book stores have expanded their comics sections to accommodate the growing demand.

"Japanese pop culture has a lot of exposure in the US, on TV with anime, with video games and now mangas," he said.

The best-selling manga in 2004 was "Rurouni Kenshin," which depicts the religious and war rituals of 19th century samurais.

The mangas follow the popularity in the United States of the cartoons Pokemon, Dragon Ball and Yu-Gi-Oh.

The success of mangas is surprising since they mainly refer to Japanese culture and are created for Japanese readers.

American girls have helped make mangas successful in this country, representing between 50 to 60 percent of the readership, Griepp said.

They are avid readers of "shojos" -- mangas mainly created for girls. These comics mix realistic stories about school, family, friendship and love, with fantasy.

One of the most popular shojo series, called "Fruits Basket," tells the story of Tohru Honda, an orphaned student adopted by a family hit by a curse.

"Female readers in the United States have strongly demonstrated that manga is now a medium to be enjoyed by both sexes," said Liza Coppola, vice president of sales at Viz, one of two big manga publishers in the United States.

Viz's rival TokyoPop released last year a manga co-created by rock singer Courtney Love, the widow of Nirvana singer Kurt Cobain. "Princess Ai" is the story of a girl who becomes a music star and escapes assassins.

"I have always loved the Japanese culture and the people," Love said. "Princess Ai is a great character because she feels like my alter ego, but in a fantasy setting."


"Japanese art, not traditional but contemporary art ... are doing quite well and are accepted in the US," Japan's embassador to the United States, Ryozo Kato, said recently.

"This is a good thing because, in the end, I believe that the strength of the US-Japan relationship comes down to people-to-people communication and mutual respect," he said.



allvoices

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Mike Francis songs: "Friends" and "Let Me In"

Two songs by Mike Francis became popular during the 1980's, these were
"Friends" and "Let Me In". "Friends" was released first and was sung
by a woman. I can't remember who the singer was. Almost immediately
afterwards, "Let Me In" was released. They practically have the same
music but different lyrics. Slight variation on the music though.

====

Friends
by Mike Francis

Come on my friend
and leave your caution to the wind
I know we used to keep that feeling out of sight
It's getting stronger
I feel it burning in my mind
slowly teasing me it's growing deep inside

Come on and lay your tender lips down on my skin
show me how sweet and easy it can be...
Let us stick together
and make it happen...

I won't think it over again
I'll take you to the top
tell of your hidden thoughts
So come on let me love you again
I'll do the best I can
make me tremble with your breath

Come on my friend
and leave your caution way behind
I wanna love your body till the morning light
watch me my friend
I feel you reachin' in my mind
though I know we'll be in love just for one night
I keep on trying to change my point of view again
but everything seems to be the same
I want you where you are now
I don't wanna loose you

I won't think it over again
I'll take you to the top
tell of your hidden thoughts
So come on let me love you again
I'll do the best I can
make me tremble with your breath

===

Let Me In
By Mike Francis

Let me in
with the flowers
don't bring me down
I'm on the ground
Let me in
you got the power
to kill the pain
I'm feelin' deep within

Last night I hurt you so
but 'till the mornin' sun grow cold and rivers flow
I promise you my heart
and we can make love grow
until the moon up high deserts the sky
I know
you'll never face a broken heart
No doubt about it
I wanna win
you back again

Let me in
your darkest hour
just take my hand
and try to understand
I know I hurt you so
and till the seas run dry I'll worship you and more
I promise you my heart
now we can make love grow
until the lovers cease to dream and have no heart
my lovely lady we'll never part

Now we can dance upon the sweetest love refrain
you're my tomorrow and you're my today
now only you can show the way
through fire and rain I'm feelin' pain so much
you're such a part of me I want you back
hey! It's good to see you again

No doubt about it
I wanna win
you back again

Let me in
to feel the fire
let love unfold
my body's wet and cold
I'll never let you go
until the sand rolls in the desert
day by day
I promise you my heart
and we can make love grow
until the day no longer turn the night away
my lovely lady in love I'll stay

Hey! Babe
lead me through the colors of your rainbow now
you gotta understand
you got this shadow hangin' over me
I'm not the man I used to be oh! No
my destiny is in your hands
I know your heart is sad and blue
I'm lonely too
so what's the use it's no excuse oh! No
you got a winnin' hand
so honey come on
Let Me In....

===

Hey, it's February. I can post these songs can't I?

--andoy
1 February 2005

allvoices