I have always afforded myself the luxury of losing arguments. I can argue a point to death. I can argue both sides of argument. If I wanted to argue, nobody needs to coax me into it. I can do it myself. Crazy, no? Which is why I try not to argue. Because I can see the other's viewpoint. I not only respect the other viewpoint, but I empathize with it. Which is also the reason why I try very hard to shut up, if I can see an argument coming. The only reason I see where I do not shut up, is if I were expected to argue. Or to make a stand. At the end of the day, what was the point of the argument in the first place? Who wins? Who loses? Winning arguments has nothing to do with logic. Winning arguments has everything to do with passion and the will to win. At whatever cost. I told myself early on that there are arguments you can win, and arguments that you will lose, and there are arguments which are worth winning or losing. Leading me to the conclusion, that it is better not to argue, nor to debate but to discuss things like sensible people. After discussion, you part as friends who have shared something. Maybe, in the end, the discussion leads to a common direction.
I have also never indulged myself in telling friends that they made a mistake. If at all, I have made it a point that if there is anyone who should be blamed, it would be me. I would rather own up to the blame, rather than lose a friend. Is that so bad?
Losing a friend hurts me a lot. In my book, that is a personal failure. And there are days when I forget. Now that hurts.
--andoy
7 February 2005
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