Love Songs

These past two weeks, I have been sending emails of love songs. Nothing special about them. These were mostly shared poems via the PinoyPoets groups. I just forwarded them to some people. There were, however, isolated comments from some of my friends that they were fed up with love poems. There was even a comment that it was a form of "sugar-high" complete with palpitations and hypertension. I would like to apologize if that were the case. That was not the intention.

To me love is shared. The sharing is important. If love is not shared, then it is selfish. And love is not selfish. Sharing means that you show that you love a person. That you care. And care very deeply. You love a person so deeply that when that person calls, you go and meet him or her. You do stupid requests, like inquiries on string-quartets, working over-time for loved ones, 3-hour talks over coffee, going out of the way to meet at a tower, watching a soppy movie... that sort of thing. You share of yourself, your life, your experiences, your thoughts, fears and dreams.

Love is something you immerse yourself in. You wallow in it and feel it's warmth. And the warmer you get, the warmer the other person gets. It is not enough to watch, you have to be actively aware that you are loving this person. Love is LIFE; and life is LOVE.

It goes without saying that when you express that love, when you hug someone, or you kiss someone -- on the cheek, lips, forehead, or hand -- there must be the emotion to it. Without that underlying emotion, these are just isolated acts. Why would you do something stupid like that without the (proper, correct, right) motivation? A dance, if it is something which the dancers are doing without the feeling of dancing, it is empty. Same with love. Same with sex. Same with kissing and hugging. If there is nothing there, then you would not feel the warmth of the person; a cold reception.

Some people nowadays, say that one no longer have a love life, only a sex life. I disagree. If you only have a sex life, then you are empty. You want warmth, but do not want to invest of yourself by giving warmth in return.

Others say that "love" is different from "falling in love." Or that "loving" is different from being "in love." I disagree with both viewpoints. If you are "falling in love," then you already love the person in the first place. There may be movement in degrees, but you love nonetheless. The feeling is one of being "in love" but the giving or sharing is the "loving."

I am not an expert on love. I am not a teenager any more. I have no connections now with younger generation's definitions and standards. In fact, if any young adults were to ask me, they'd get weird with my answers. But the answers are based on my experience. I have friends who have had serial partners. I have friends who have remained single, by choice. I have friends who have remained married through all these years, without any fallouts. And of course, there are friends who have found that returning to their spouses, after a transgression is a better kind of love, maybe a truer love than when they got married years ago. that is not to say that I studied them. Only that they exist, and they shared their experiences with me.

I am alive, and I will love. I may be falling in love. I may be in love. I love. And I am loving. I can only share. And what I share may never be enough, but it will always be more than what people and friends expect from me. My friend, I love you more than you ever will know.

--andoy
6 February 2005