My Son Kenneth

It's my son Kenneth's birthday tomorrow. He's 14 years old.

There are a lot of things a father can wish for. So far he seems
okay. I have been a somewhat laidback father. I have not fretted too
much that he will injure himself or hurt himself in any way while
playing with kids his age. I have worried a little bit about his age.
They are average grades, though I know that if I had pushed and tried
harder, these would have gone significantly higher. I blame myself
for his (relatively) low grades. No, really, I do.

He is charming. Skinny, but has a handsome face. Not ruggedly
handsome, not a soft handsome, pretty boy face, but a silently aloof
and quite confident face. His smile can light up the room. However,
he only smiles if he is enjoying himself. I think he knows he is
handsome and has accepted that with equanimity and without any
arrogance. He has a good fashion sense. Kenneth knows how to pick
and wear his clothes, almost perfectly meticulous when he wants to.

For his age, he is taller than most. At least he is taller than most
of his friends. I just hope he gets to be taller than me, and adds
more bulk like his uncles (my brothers).

There are days when he is grouchy. I guess he gets it from my side of
the family. When any of us seven siblings wake up on the wrong side
of the bed, it takes a while before the grouchiness wears off. When
Kenneth wakes up grouchy, he's a grouch for most of the day.

Kenneth is a little bit impatient at times. He needs to learn to sit
still and enjoy the feeling of emptiness engulfing you while waiting
for the rest of the family to get dressed so we can get out of the
house. He has never experienced climbing to the roof and sitting
still under the branches of the guava tree. He has never sought to be
alone. I believe he really needs to learn that.

What do I want to happen to him?

I wish for a lot. But I have taken a different approach than those
which I wished for. In a way, I have taken the approach which my
father inadvertently took with me. My father left me alone to seek my
destiny, he let me go to make something of myself, to make my own
decisions and to make my own mistakes. He did serve as a safety net.
My father may have worried about me, but I never saw him interfere.
That may not have been his initial plans. He wanted me to be
somebody: a corporate intellectual. And I failed that image he had.
That I guess is where I differ in the approach. I do not have any
ideas about what my son will be.

I want Kenneth to be happy. I want him to accept himself. I want him
to have chances. I want him to find the doors and passageways. And I
also want him to experience getting lost in the various doors and
passageways. In short I want him to experience life. I know that
every so often he will fail or he will get lost. But I have trained
him, and will continue to train him, to stand up after each failure.

I aim to be more of a father to him now than I ever did before. I
also want to continue to be his friend. I understand that he has
apprehensions about talking to me. He still does not understand that
I am just waiting for him to start talking and I will listen. I want
to continue to be his friend. A friend in the same manner that I have
been a friend to my friends.

Girls? One of these days he will find out what girls are. I just
hope he finds someone he likes and who will like him in return. If
I'm lucky, my wife might even approve of the girl. Woe unto the girl
if my wife does not like her for Kenneth.

I can see that the next five to ten years will be exciting for him. I
wish him all the luck in the world. He will need it.

As for me, the next few years will be see wild swings between wanting
to control, intervene and letting go of my son. This will be exciting
for me as well. Although I know I don't need to really worry. Let
the mother worry over the son, is what I say.

I do have a daughter who is 12 years old. And the next few years
watching her grow up is what worries me.


--andoy

Movement and Promotion

I have a job. That said, sometimes I wonder if I need to add anything to that statement.

How about this: I have a job, and I like it, but I don't like my boss. Sounds like a logic statement, which in most cases is true.

The good news is that recently I got "regularized." To understand this concept, for a while now, the Call Center industry in the Philippines is manned by "contractual" employees. Meaning they have a fixed-term contract. The contract itself does not mean that you have to stay. But that you have to stay and accept a certain fixed salary, plus, plus. Now that the growth curve is getting steep, there is a push to rationalized the industry and professionalize the people manning the phones/seats. Hence the concept of regularization. The employees which these companies want to keep (after pursuing HR metrics) are now being asked to sign-up and become regular employees with additional pay and benefits. Simply put, I got several more pesos in the bank every payday.

The better news is that my bosses (I think at least 4 levels of them in various lateral and vertical capacity) think that they don't want to let go of me. There are only 10 of us in the account: the Japanese-speaking TL (translator?) who was once wrongfully tagged as an Indonesian by a caller; the UK line composed of the French-speaking agent (and full-time State University student), the German-speaking agent (who is also a part-time University and Business School Economics professor), and the Spanish-speaking ex-Seminarian; the Korean agent who handles the Asia line; and the US line manned by 4 guys (one of which was called a Pakistani by a caller, which is me) and a girl. The German-speaking agent was given the task of doing the Team's QA. And I was given the task of training new agents. Additional task was that of doing the QA of the German-speaking agent/QA. In addition, I supported the two other guys on the US line to apply for a higher position of Trainor for the other account, which job I think they have the technical knowledge to handle. With that in mind, the bosses decided to find a way to increase my salary. So now my salary is now at par with other (local) Trainors in the facility.

Of course, there was the other reason: that I might jump-ship and move to the other account where the opportunities of advancement are more clearly defined.

The great news is that the bosses already have an idea that I want to move up some day, becoming a Team Leader myself, but not for the current Team. And I have admitted that. I also freely admitted that I want to continue working for the company. Mainly because of the short commute to my residence. Besides that, I have also admitted that I have set my sights not just on the Team Leader position but on the next higher position of Shift Manager. These opportunities of advancement I defined to my boss. I did give the hint that first dibs would be with the company. If I cannot get to advance, then there are other companies within a short walk away. This is not an idle threat but an everyday reality in the business.

So now, I have a job. I have just been promoted. I have been given an increase. And I have defined my advancement plans. Great. And my bosses have given word that they will support me -- in essence to move out of their account.

--andoy

16.6MEGAPIXEL Camera from Canon

Some while back there was a rumor that Kodak would release a 13-megapixel camera. Too late, because Canon just ran a press release that they'd be releasing a 16.6 megapixel camera, the Canon EOS-1Ds Mark II. And it will be out in November.

What does 16.6 megapixel mean?

Imagine printing a JPEG file to photo-quality standards. A 2-megapixel picture camera will produce a 1600x1200 picture. Ideally, this will print half a page of a letter-size paper (about 5 and 1/2 inches by 4). Any larger than that and you'd see the pixellation. If this was film-based printing, the term is "grainy." A 16-megapixel picture will produce a 4700x3500 picture. You can print pictures as large as 16x12 inches, with the same quality as before. All things being equal.

However, this is not a toy. Like most cameras of its class, the Canon EOS-1Ds Mark II supports the full range of EOS lenses with its interchangeable lens mount. And there are a lot more third-party lenses out there with their own lens-mount mount adaptors.

I guess the next hurdle is the 20-megapixel camera.

Who knows maybe in another 5 years, every other digital still camera will be 16-megapixel rated?

--andoy

Paris Hilton!

Okay, this is weird. But I can only see a resemblance of Paris Hilton to Morgan Fairchild. Although both are very sexy and are very alluring, the differences between them are more than just cosmetic or skin deep. And truth is, Ms. Fairchild has a lot more body and skin than Ms. Hilton.

Not to be outrageously critical or anything, but Morgan Fairchild does have real expressions on her face. She may not have reached any real status as a star like Michelle Pfeiffer or Sharon Stone, but she does have a softer charm. Tough but soft. More like Queen Elizabeth I, type tough. But with sublety or finesse, maybe even more subtle than what women of the 80's were supposed to show. Very much unlike Madonna or Kylie Minogue for instance.

In contrast, Paris Hilton looks like a Ben Stiller movie, "Zoolander," where every expression is the same. What do I see? An invitation along the lines of "walk into my parlor (said the spider to the fly)." A billboard or personal ad: "I am the center of the universe!" or "I am rich beautiful and sexy. And everyone is taking pictures of me . . . And you are not and never will be me." There is also the outright confession: "I am a rich spoiled brat and I will never grow old, never become poor, and will always be beautiful."

Karma (and the laws of physics) are not in her favor, is all I can say.

--andoy

Vertigo

Lately, I have been having spells (attacks?) of vertigo. I first had
these spells middle of last year. I don't think I was disconcerted,
FRIGHTENED would have been closer to what I felt. It happened
suddenly, without any warning and then the spells ended, again without
any warning.

Since last week I have been having these spells (attacks?) again. But
not in the same manner as before. What happens now is that when I lie
down to bed, nothing happens, but when I turn, it feels as if the rest
of the world did not stop turning. Sleepy and going to bed, a simple
thing like turning from one side to the other and the world keeps on
turning after you've stopped! Nauseating! It takes me twice as long
to get to sleep!

Whereas before, I had vertigo spells after standing up or sitting
down, now, that does not happen. It just happens when I'm sleepy and
lying down -- and moving from side to side.

right now, I just hope it does not get worse, and just go away like before.

--andoy

Pictures with Hello

Tried out Hello with Picasa.  Turns out okay, quick, easy and painless. 

Great!

--andoy

Darwi and Kenneth swinging wildly on the hammock. 

Tree house in Bolinao (Long Beach Resort) already renovated. 

Christmas 2003... all in red. 

Scanning Time Again

My brother and I have been reworking the computers at our house.  This includes reconditioning and setup of one machine so my sister Adora can have it and use it at her house.  So far, my brother bought a DVD-drive, internal modem and a monitor, both setup with the computer which we'd be using at home.  The DVD-drive replaced the CD-R/W drive, the internal modem replaced the external (serial port) modem, and the 17-inch monitor replaced the 14-inch monitor.  I re-configured the PC, and now have the printer running again.  On the other PC, the only thing remaining are the software installation.  And, now I only have to download the drivers and setup the scanner.

Several years back, I started a project to save to soft-copy the pictures that I've taken since 1988.  That was the year I got married.  Until now, I still have most of the negatives for these pictures, and maybe one of these days, I'd get a (film) scanner and do those as well -- which would sound redundant to say the least.  In as much as there were several CD's which had their media film flaking off (or flaked off), I think I really need to redo the project again.

Nice thing about that project, scanning pictures thought me a lot about the technical aspects of digital photography, photo formats and archiving.  In addition, the rework will allow me to do the following:

1.  Scan the pictures at the highest optical resolution, and save as TIFF.  If needed, then these can be converted to JPEG (and play around with the levels, picture size, and cropping before saving).
2.  Organize in terms of folders.  In order to make any sense of the archiving, there should be logical a way to know how these are organized, so that finding individual pictures or groups of pictures would be relatively easy.
3.  Use durable media when saving to disk.  That means, using CD-R/W disks to do the job of CD-R disks.  Ideally, I would have chosen magneto-optical disks or DVD disks.

But first I've got to get the scanner going.

Then, maybe in the near future, get myself a digital camera, from Canon.  Or maybe a film scanner, or a good quality film-capable scanner.

--andoy

More Birthdays

Something to think about for Grandparents' Day. We had a small celebration at home. Nothing out of the ordinary. Almost everyone was there. But one of those invited was not able to come. Her name is Angel, and she's the daughter of my youngest brother. She stays with her mom, who lives in Antipolo, some 17 kilometers in that direction. I didn't want to think about it; not thinking about it made me so pissed off, I was lucky I wasn't thinking about it.

Anyway, moving forward somewhat...

It was my mom's birthday last Thursday, September 16. It was a quiet celebration. And it was my grandmother's birthday yesterday, Friday, September 17. Now that was a quiet celebration. She died several years back. Again, I did not want to think about that as I have accepted the fact that I have to move on. But I know I left a piece of myself a while back.

Another celebration for the birthdays will be tomorrow, Sunday. This would be quiet but fun.


--andoy

The Ideologist in an Organization

There is no place for an Ideologist in a modern corporate organization.  In today's corporations, the rapid change of business dealings leaves the ideologist in a void.  Tasked to fly the flag and inspire purity of thought, the changes to the corporate workplace and arena make a concept-anchored stalwart bound to his concepts and left behind.

However, the Ideologist is important to a startup corporation, or to a small team.

Holding aloft the banner of concepts of which the organization is founded on, he is needed to keep the faith.  During the first three years of an organization when it is floundering and the corporate heads might be wavering in their belief that it will work out, the ideologist is there to keep everyone focused on the future and the task at hand.  This man is tasked to remind one and all that the future is near and reachable, if you stay true to the founding concepts.

"We created this corporation because there is a need and we can supply that need."

In a team, the ideologist is there to keep the team members focused on corporate ideals, values, mission, vision, and what-not.  Not necessarily a taskmaster, but there nonetheless to rally the team to the corporate goal.  The man has the unenviable task of urging and cajoling conformity to an corporate slogans, and unite the team as well.

"This is the corporate way.  This keeps us focused on the mission and vision."

In most instances, the Ideologist, is the leader.  However, this task is best given to another person with corporate zeal.  And a team player.

And what happens if the leader is pointing in one direction and the team is paddling in another?  That would be great!

--andoy

Poems, and other sundries

I've not written any poems for the past 17 or 18 years. It's not that I was any good. But I had the discipline then to write. Maybe I'll write again soon.

- = 0 = O = 0 = -

My friend Schel is getting married soon. As far as I can see, she might get married sooner than another friend, Sawfin. Who knows. With regards wedding days, I'll mark it on my calendar a week before the even, and not before.

Not that I believe in marriage or weddings, but that I don't want to be more excited than the bride( or more frightened than the groom.)

- = 0 = O = 0 = -

I think that next year should be a good year to get married. For that matter, this year and last were also good years to get married or to have gotten married. Thinking about it, any year should be a good year to get married.

Getting married has nothing to do with the economy. In fact, it is a protest against an economic downturn, because it means that the couple believes in the future. A future together.

For better or for worse...

- = 0 = O = 0 = -

Since my mom had her own cell phone, she started collecting cellphone jokes. That in itself is a very funny. She writes down the jokes into her notebook.

The really funny part is that every so often she lets loose from some new joke she had written down. During breakfast. Just when she has just risen in the morning and I've just come in from the graveyard shift. Now that is mean!

The good news is that she now knows how to deliver a joke. Whereas before she'd be laughing about two lines before the puchline, now she delivers the jokes with a straight face. An improvement, if ever there was one.

--andoy

The Iconoclast in the Organization

In a fashion sense, the iconoclast is popular because fashion is about change.  Fashion is not about conformity.  It is the masses who will conform, but the iconoclast is so far advanced that he has broken the mold and will not follow the crowd that has followed his example.  He will not lead, but march to the sound of his own drums.

Imagine that, breaking the mold.  Creating a new one.  And after everyone has followed what he has started, breaks it up because everyone else is following it.

The above may not be the correct definition, as an iconoclast by definition is someone who breaks tradition, maybe because it is tradition.  But what happens when tradition has been broken, and what was set in place of it has then become tradition on its own?  Following Mao's definition of Communism, the iconoclast will break the new tradition and create a new one.  That is his job.  Create something new, and breaking entrenched tradition.  Weird, weird and weird, and doesn't make sense.

In today's world, the iconoclast rules.  He is venerated for his being brave enough to break rules.  Does he profit from it?  If not, someone else will profit from the change.  But he will be moving forward.  And again, someone else will profit from the next turn.  It will not end.

--andoy

The Anarchist in an Organization

I miss the old days when a discussion was part of a day's work.  When you sat with your colleagues and talked problems, (project) status, ideas, concepts and the basic "which came first, the chicken or the egg" question.  The avowed openness of the proceeding seethed with agendas being forced hidden because they are too obvious when voiced out.  There was democracy and the implicit push for disagreement for the sake of disagreement.  Anarchy for the anarchy's sake.  In such an environment, ideas are floated to be shot down.  Opinions are voiced just because.

Maybe I am an anarchist in an organizational setup; not being entirely comfortable if everyone is agreeing for the sake of agreeing.  In such cases, I need to give a contrary view or opinion. 

"I will agree, but let me inform you of the alternative of this action."

There is no need to always be agreeing.  In fact, there is no real need to agree to anything.  As long as the discussion is still open, I will voice out a contrary opinion, if no one else is voicing one.  I want to have the guy beside me giving a different approach, opinion, comment or suggestion.  I want to see the holes in the ideas presented.  Sentient beings talking about a plan of action need to see the deficiencies in the plan, before agreeing to implement it.

And after the discussion is closed, an agreement is given.  And the final plan is a group plan.  After the meeting, in front of everyone else, the group plan is unanimously and unconditionally followed.  No matter what was said to the contrary during the planning.

--andoy

of blogging (finally got to that one)

After reading some other blogs, I came to the conclusion that bloggers are required to be slightly crazy. And I admit I am over-qualified.

There are a lot of bloggers out there. And they range from political ranters (me included) to teen-age kids who don't have think they want to be thirty someday. In between are a lot of introverts who need people to talk to (maybe because they talk to themselves too much) and extroverts who need an outlet for their hobbies, music, activities and what not (of which I have no idea where they get the time to do those things and still write or blog about it).

In the USA there are a lot of blog entries about the upcoming elections 9/11 and partying during this past Labor Day. Across the globe, teens and young adults (early twenties) are practically discussing the same things, partying, or socializing in schools. Professionals give comments on common everyday events from their own professional background or viewpoint (say politics from a psychiatrists viewpoint.)

Whereas before a lot of these things would have been written down on diaries, nowadays these have been edited to be readable on blogs. There are some blogs which detail intimate encounters or even sex lives, editing not for reportorial purposes, but to tickle the reader, and maybe exaggerate a little (or a lot).

In a way, this is a liberating venue. Maybe not as much creative possibilities as a "full" web-site which would be interactive with the reader in every way. But definitely it gives an opening for writing anything or almost anything. Within the limits of the blogger host.

I guess I'd be looking at other blogs with a more open mind, particularly those rants which really shout at you from the opposite end of the (political, social, international, sexual) spectrum.

--andoy

I remember September 11

I can't help but remember September 11 when the "New World Order" got shattered. It was a slow evening, and I just got home and eaten supper. The kids were already in bed. And I was surfing the channels, trying to find something to watch. As I was changing channels, there was a shot of the New York's World Trade Center's Twin Towers -- with one of them on fire. I was mesmerized. I checked out the other channels, and there it was, same scene, different angle. This was going on live. It was really happening. And half a world and 12 time zones away I was watching it.

When it was explained that an airplane crashed into the tower, only then did I realize that this was not an ordinary fire.

I phone my father and asked him to change the channel and watch the disaster unfolding. And then I remembered people I knew who were supposed to have offices in that building.

One of the people who I knew was working in New York was Rachelle. I sent a text message to a close friend and asked about her. There was an exchange of text messages about what we were seeing on TV. It was distressing to know that she worked at the World Trade Center. I prayed for her safety, that she not be in any danger.

My father also had another friend who was working in that complex. I sent several text messages to my friends who were in communication with this couple. It turns out that his company was not anymore located at the WTC. There were a lot of text messages exchanged before that was verified.

In one sense it was a personal attack. Almost everyone I know knows someone within the vicinity of the attack.

The tragedy was not isolated. It was a global tragedy. It was a global attack. That it happened at all meant that whoever did it had such hatred that it had to be expressed with the suicide of several men, for the death of a lot more innocent people, and the destruction of a symbol of wealth and power, in the most popular city in the world. Though outwardly the war on terrorism may have started with this loss, I doubt if we will ever see the end of this. Until the hatred has been sated, the attacks will continue ad nauseum. We can only be vigilant and prepared for more such losses.

--andoy

The Dark Side

I admit I am not a "good guy."  I also have a Dark Side.  Maybe not as dark as others, but definitely dark.  And it frightens me.  Truly, it does!  Very frightening thought that of realizing that it is there and that every day it takes a conscious effort just to keep it bottled up.  I guess in most things, to be good and to keep on doing good, you have to bottle up the dark side.

Some people describe the difference between good and evil as a very thin line.  I have decided early on that wherever that line may be, I am not going near it.  The temptation to cross the line is over-powering.  It is a siren call to the rocks on a stormy sea.  I would rather meet the stormy seas than be tempted into the rocks.

Other people describe the difference between good and evil as shades of gray.  I have decided that I'd rather be in a well-lighted place.  Maybe in some instances, it does turn gray -- a very dark gray.  But I try not to consciously move to a darker area.  There have been times when I ran away from there.  I guess that in some cases, the circumstances just turn dark very fast.

I am a latent addict.  I know that if a real addiction comes on, I might not be able to escape.  That's the reason I don't smoke -- I never started.  Nowadays, I don't drink alcohol (okay, maybe a bottle every now and then, or every two months if there is an occasion.)  I have seen firsthand what alcoholism can do.  Good thing I hate the hangover more than I like the drinking.  I would rather have the drinking companions without me drinking.  Doesn't make sense, that everyone is getting inebriated and I'm not matching my drinking companions bottle for bottle.  I don't even sleep drunk.  I try to wear off the alcohol before getting to bed.

Drugs?  Just the occasional analgesic for the headache or migraine.

But why do I say that I have a very dark side?

Several months ago, during the election some stupid guy or group of stupid guys scattered sharp tacks/nails on EDSA and there were several vehicles stranded because of flat tires.  There was an unusually heavy traffic jam that night.  I say it was stupid, because what they did was child's play.  Absolutely juvenile.  Only teenagers with nothing to do in their neighborhood would do some damn fool thing like that.  Imagine, scattering these objects at only one spot?  Stupid.  I thought of the same plan years before, before the EDSA MRT.  To stop the traffic you have to do it in at least 5 strategic places, at about the same time of the afternoon, preferably raining, and then you time this with some trucks delivering...  A real terrorist plot. 

Maybe in that sense, Filipinos are not meant to be terrorists, because Filipinos are afraid of hurting people.

My main limitation in terms of my fight with myself is that I take the passive road.  When Napoleon was asked what he would do in a given situation where there was no way of escape or winning, he answered that would not happen because he would not even get into the situation in the first place.  In the Star Trek simulation of the Kobayashi Maru, Sulu was supposed to have taken the stand NOT to follow the distress signal.  In the Academy simulation, he did not try to help the Kobayashi Maru.  That is the same stand I follow.  I will not allow myself to get into such a situation where I am forced to decide.  My stand is not to start smoking.  Not to start taking drugs.  Not to start down the road of alcoholic solace.  Bribes as a government official, sorry that will not happen to me, because I will not sit as a government official.  I never did take the Civil Service exam because I never wanted to go into government.  I did not want to have the chance to be in such a position where I have no choice about corruption.

The dark side is about committing.  I have taken a look at the committing part and I cannot help but wonder, what about getting away with it?  Some people will do it because they get perverse pleasure in doing wrong.  It is a drug.  It is power.  Sorry, unless but if I can't get away with it, I'm not even going to be anywhere near it when it happens.  If you can't pay for the crime, if you cannot do the time, do not do the crime.  Not worth it.  I stay away.  Way, way away!

And if I could get away from it?  I still doubt if I could.  I would most probably walk away from the temptation.  Nice to look and study maybe as a logic problem.  But sorry, I may know how it can be done, but it was not me.  I wasn't there.

Moriarty and Holmes are one and the same.  They are just two sides of the same coin.  Unfortunately, as much as I don't want to be Moriarty, I cannot be Holmes either.  I would rather prevent than apprehend after.

Am I amoral then?  Considering that the opposite of being moral is not being immoral, but being amoral.  I guess my being a sort of fence sitter makes me amoral.  But I guess what differentiates me from amoral people is that I know what morality is and what it entails.  Really amoral people do not.  If we are to take a look at history, we see clear examples. 

Joseph Estrada has been called amoral.  He did not care about the morality of his deeds.  He had already been accepted by the masses as a man with multiple wives and a drunk.  Hitler some people say was very strait-laced moral.  Although his sense of logic was very flawed.  Some of his people were immoral, like Goering.  Having the time of their lives while they were in power and enjoying the pogrom, too.  The generals for the most part were amoral.  They did not think of the morality of their deeds.  It was a war, they were soldiers.

As I grow older, I am asking more things of myself.  Whereas before, I can say that I am a relativist of sorts.  I now see that I cannot afford to be that way.  I cannot still judge or condemn the actions of others.  However, I am becoming more critical of my own actions, judging more sternly than before.  Maybe one of these days I will win against the Dark Side which matters, that of my own.

~~andoy

SM Cinemas and R-18

There is a current debate going on about what can be shown by a cinema chain.

It started when a large chain of malls gave a statement that they will only show quality movies or family oriented movies, meaning no Filipino movie with an R-18 rating. In good faith, the management stated that they would like to create and maintain a family-oriented atmosphere within their malls. With a total of more than 100 theaters in Metro Manila alone, the SM mall chain effectively cut off the knees the trend of Pinoy "bold" or sexy movies. This development prompted some female sexy stars, their handlers/managers/publicists and their producers to protest that this will do harm to the industry -- and, by the way, also harm their incomes.

The censors board, also called the MTRCB, has stepped in and asked the SM Theater management to reconsider their policy. Now all kinds of statement are being said, including "human rights violations," "freedom of expression," "repression," etc. There was even an accusation that the mall chain was trying to dictate to the film industry and to the government what movies should be made in the country.

What these people conveniently forgot is that SM is a private convern. It is a business which has made a corporate decision. Whether that decision will make money in the long run is none of our concern. As consumers, it is our right to request, but if the vendor does not want to sell, or even stock, what we want, if the vendor does not have what we want, then we can only go to the next vendor and check out if they have what we want. It may be financial suicide. It may work out in the long run. I say, good luck to SM, for making a stand.

What this means for a lot of persons, even they do not have an idea. The movie industry and government is looking at it, again from a very short-term viewpoint. The short-term is that the current trend might be curtailed somewhat. But I believe that if they continue making these movies, because there is a perceived demand, then people will still watch them. And for the theater owners which have long complained that nobody goes to watch in their cinemas, this will, hopefully, make more money for them.

For the industry, it is time for them to rethink their current fare. Is it worth the money to make this film genre? Is the old paradigm, of making a quicky sex movie for the big screen and recouping investments within the month, still a viable formula?

The Philippine government (with a hell of a lot of movie personalities) should now take steps to segregate movie making to protect the industry, the theater owners and the viewing public. There was a suggestion before to make a "red-light" district sort of segregation, where R-18 or even X-rated movies can only be shown in "special" theaters or screenings.

For the viewing public, as long as movies are made, they have the power to choose which ones to watch. With the SM move, there is a perception that this has been taken away from them. Which is false. Instead, it has given the viewing public more power in choosing which movie to watch, and where.

As the ancient chinese curse goes, "may you live in interesting times."

--andoy

One Year Older

I feel older.  Much, much older and slower than I've felt in years.  This year's birthday may not be worse than some of the others, but it's not the best either. 

It is not much of a bummer growing old or older.  What's bothersome is that it seems I do not have time on my hands.  It slips fast.  Very fast.  Due to my work hours, the weekends are not there!  Literally, I get home, sleep and the weekend or days off is gone.

I may not have any wealth or riches, but I think that I am looking at more and better opportunities for growth than I've seen in years!  That was the positive side of where I am right now.  Hopefully, this new career will move forward as planned.  Allowing me to pursue plans and dreams as never before.  Well, if you're at the bottom, you can only look up.

I have a lovely wife who I love very much.  We've been married these past 16 years and it was just a breeze.  There were a lot of tough times.  But she's there always beside me, maybe not knowing what my plans were, but trusting me just the same.  Or so I think she did.

I have two kids, Kenneth and Darwi.  They're adorable and just approaching their teens.  Kenneth will be 14 this October.  And Darwi is 12.  Admittedly, if you're a parent these are frightening years.  Just the thought terrifies me, actually.  I have to watch them from a distance.  I have to coach them closely, correcting things and teaching object lessons.  The basics are there, now the need is to do some trimming.  And maybe I can leave them be when they reach voting age.  I am just preparing myself now for letting go and allowing them to make their own mistakes, making sure that they will learn that they made mistakes and that they learn from these mistakes.  As a parent, that is all I can do.

I am looking forward to the rest of this calendar year.  I am also looking very positively forward to the rest of my years.  I hope to live a long life, maybe to my 70's.  I look forward to enjoying myself.  This will be a great adventure, I just need to get in better shape.

I need to laugh more often.  I need to be with old friends.  If not sitting across from them, then at least keeping in touch more often.  Maybe more letters, emails or cards.

More pictures I hope to take and archive.

I will write more and more and more.

And the Dark Side of me?  I will push more, cajole, goad and be a general pain in the butt for some people.  Or maybe just one.  One at a time.  And enjoy myself too.  If you know who you are, too bad.  And if you are not the one I am referring to, you don't need to tell him.  He already knows. hahaha.  What fun I will have!

--andoy